Pirates
by CSIflea
Summary: There's a pirate problem in the Grissom-household and its all Greg's fault...


**This story was not beta'd as I don't have one at the moment, so please excuse the mistakes.**

 **This one has been coming on a while and it's based on Joe Thompson's "Pirates in the bathroom". Don't own any of the original cast; Zach and Taylor are mine though. Enjoy.**

Sara came home from work to find the living room light on. She checked her watch; it was just past three in the morning. Her case was a fairly easy open and shut, so she finished a little earlier. She wanted to sleep in her own bed, with her husband for a change. Sara and Grissom decided to try and alternate evenings spent at home. This was made possible after Grissom threatened to leave and take all his contacts with him, if Ecklie didn't give him more freedom. If only they knew that Ecklie wouldn't last for much longer as he was arrested on fraud charges and then later sentenced to 10 years in prison, but that is ancient history. For now she wanted to know why the living room light was on.

Sara found Grissom on the couch; he was lying on his back with 6-month-old Taylor sleeping on his chest. At first she thought he was awake, but on closer inspection she noticed he was asleep as well. She quickly took out her phone and crept around to find the best angle for a photo of the cute scene on the couch. Sara's phone clicked softly and she took the blanket from the back of the couch and spread it over the sleeping pair. Her heart melted as Grissom shifted a little and his arms tightened a little over his daughter. Taylor on the other hand snuggled deeper into her Dad's arms and sighed in contentment, suckling on her pacifier.

Sara smoothed her hand over her husband's hair and moved towards the kitchen. She started a pot of coffee and then went first to the bathroom and then to change into more comfortable clothes. When she got back into the kitchen about 15 minutes later, she found a sleepy eyed Grissom standing in the kitchen pouring coffee into two mugs.

"You should have woken me up when you got home," Grissom said, his voice still hoarse from sleep.

"You and Taylor looked so cute, I couldn't wake you up," Sara said and brought up the photo on her phone. She couldn't get enough of the look on her husband's face when he looked at his children or his little miracles as he called them. She sat down opposite him at the kitchen table.

"You should send that one to my mom, she's always complaining we don't send her enough pictures," Grissom said with a goofy smile.

"I was thinking of getting it framed," Sara said. She had to smile as Grissom just grunted.

"So, what's news on shift?" Grissom asked.

"Oh, nothing new, Jim and Cath are still dancing around each other, Greg got a new girlfriend and Rick and Nick got some kind of bet on how long this girl's gonna last," Sara said with a smile.

"Speaking of Greg, remind me to kill him next time I see him please?" Grissom said as he got up to put his cup in the sink, causing Sara to choke in her coffee. Grissom looked at her in amusement as she struggled to catch her breath.

"Why on Earth would you want to kill Greg?" Sara said after she had gotten her breath.

"Because he is the reason I had to struggle to get Zach into the bath tonight," Grissom said as he sat down again next to his wife.

"Why?" Sara asked her eyes bright with expectation. Zachary is a mini-Grissom as Warrick had put it once. He can be just as stubborn as his father and Sara always found it entertaining when Grissom and his five year old miniature went head to head.

"He refused to go take a bath, because apparently our bathroom was overrun by pirates," Grissom said.

"Ok, it looks like I'm going to need another coffee for this one," Sara said as she got up to make herself another of coffee. It was strange that she had gotten so used to the beverage that she could drink as many cups as she wanted and still sleep like a baby.

"Maybe we should take this to the bedroom," Grissom said and chuckled as Sara blushed. "Not like that, I just mean that we should get more comfortable and then I can tell you the entire story."

"Ok, yeah. Did you put Taylor to bed?" Sara asked as they moved out of the kitchen and Grissom went to check the front door again.

"Yes, dear," Grissom said with a smile and the two headed off to bed.

CSI LV

A little while later they were in bed, Sara settled herself on Grissom's shoulder to listen to the story of how Greg is responsible for Zach not wanting to take a bath.

"Ok, so earlier, I got Taylor ready for bed and that went off without a hitch. Zach however did not want to go into the bathroom, because he believed that pirates have captured it. He said that we couldn't go in there, because the pirates won't care if he has to take a bath. Apparently they've hoisted the skull and crossbones and they've piled gold bullions in the sink. Believe or not, the rubber ducky was their hostage." Grissom could feel Sara shaking with suppressed laughter.

"Why the rubber duck?" Sara managed to get out between giggles.

"They wanted to commit murder, you see. They wanted to cut him in half. You would come and sort them out though," Grissom said.

"Me? Why?" Sara asked and got up on one elbow to look at Grissom's face.

"Well, they cut down the shower curtain and drank up the shampoo," Grissom shrugged.

"Oh boy," Sara said lying back down. "Do I even want to know why?"

"According to Zach, the shower curtain was to be the ship's sail and the shampoo had to double up as rum as they left the originals on their ship that sunk. You were going to have to come teach them a lesson for destroying your bathroom," Grissom said, amusement clear in his deep voice.

"How did you get him to bath?" Sara asked warily.

"Well, he accused me of not believing him and then tried to get out of bathing again. According to your son, the only way he could take a bath was to defeat the pirates or phone Brass for a "hothtage negothiathian", Grissom said and Sara couldn't hold her laughter anymore. Grissom's use of the way Zach tried to say hostage negotiation was hilarious and so spot on.

"What did you do?" Sara asked after she had calmed down a little.

"I got given a plastic sword, another reason to kill Greg, with an eye-patch and pirates hat, of course and told to fight for our lives. Oh, and being the totally awesome big brother that he is, I was told not to worry, if I get captured he'll look after Taylor until you come home to rescue me," Grissom answered and the disgruntled tone in his voice made Sara laugh harder.

"I wish I could have seen that!" Sara said wiping away tears.

"When I walked into the bathroom, there were pirates Legos everywhere, the tub were half-full and the rubber ducky was tied to the tap with a piece of string. The shower curtain was lying on the floor nicely folded in a triangle and the shampoo bottle was floating next to Captain Jack Sparrow, I think. I took all of the little devilish things and threw them in the washing basket and rescued the duck and then called him in to help me collect evidence," Grissom said.

"Evidence? For what?" Sara asked her voice filled with laughter at her husband's adventure.

"For the trial, what else?" Grissom answered. "Zach was required to dive in order to collect all the necessary evidence for a conviction."

"And he had to get into the tub for that. That my dear Bug man was very clever," Sara said.

"Why thank you, my dear," Grissom answered smugly.

"Just one more thing. Why do you want to kill Greg though?" Sara asked confused.

"He gave Zach those damn pirates Lego!" Grissom said as he turned off the light and got comfortable. Sara's giggle was the only response he got as he kissed the top of her head and soon after both of them fell asleep.

CSILV

The following day the Grissom family spent a lazy day at home, Zach filled his mom in on his hero-daddy's adventures and bravery the previous evening and Sara had a hard time trying not to laugh at her son's serious storytelling. She caught Grissom's eye roll and stifled a smile. Later the day Grissom had to get ready for work and Taylor's usual clinginess made it hard to say goodbye. Sara sent a quick text to Brass to keep an eye on Greg. And keep her up to date.

Brass agreed and couldn't get to the lab fast enough. His old friend was going to get teased for a very long time. Pirate Grissom was definitely one for the history books. He couldn't help but laugh when he made it just in time to hear Grissom bellow loudly:

"Greg!"

He walked a little faster; this was gonna be fun….

 **I got this story in my head after I heard the song and my cousin refused to take a bath because "I wasn't busy enough today". I thought what would happen if this happened to Grissom, how he would react, Pirates was the result!**

 **The last couple of months were not the best of my life and during the last week I have lost an extremely important person in my life. I dedicate this story to my late grandfather. You will be missed. Even though I don't have a beta, I have decided to go ahead and post this one shot and update BILY, I really need some good news so please, let me know what you think.**

 **Till next time,**

 **CSIflea.**


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